Q Parker of the R&B Group, 112 and wife Sharlnda Parker, are a Christian couple who understands the importance of having God at the center of your marriage. The couple recently spoke with Madame Noire about how they managed to survive the downward spiral their marriage was on, and re-inviting God into their marriage.
The couple who has been married since August 2002 talked about how their faith has played apart in their marriage survival:
Q: We can’t have a successful marriage without having some level of spirituality.
Both: We’ve tried!
Q: We definitely are Christians and we strongly know that we can’t survive in a marriage without God. We’re definitely in a 3-way relationship. We tried years not having an active part in our spirituality incorporated in our relationship and like Sharlinda mentioned, we were in the fast lane to being unsuccessful in marriage. The moment we realized we couldn’t do it without the Lord in our relationship, it made the relationship so much better. You have to be in a space where you ask the Lord to come in. It’s a choice that you make. We have to make the decision to invite the Lord in our relationship. So we re-invited him. We reconnected ourselves. It has been night and day
The Christian couple went on to talk about their rules for fighting fair in a marriage:
Sharlinda: Pray for me! I was a young, single parent. Nothing was just handed to me, so everything I had to work for. When I got into the relationship and the marriage, I learned that it’s okay to soften up. I used to always say, “There’s no such thing as a fair fight. When you fight, you go for the jugular.” But I had to learn. I have learned so much over the years. Sometimes when things happen in your marriage that’s devastating and hurtful and you can’t believe it happened, you will say some ugly things. I will say just leave it at that moment because we do say hurtful things—especially if the cut is deep. I’ll be honest, I work at that every day because this is the person who loves me and we’re in a marriage, we have a family. This is who really cares about me. So when you start going at that person, cutting and hitting below the belt, it’s not fair. But he fights very fair!
Q: My philosophy is “Once words leave your mouth, you can never take them back.” If this is a person I care about, I never want to say anything that can linger on. The challenge for me is to remind myself that even in the heat of the moment, this is still the woman who I love. My job is to be able to articulate myself in a way that she’ll get it and know that I mean what I say. But I’m not going to necessarily say something that’s going to hit below the belt because once we make up, those words are still in the atmosphere and those words were still relayed to the person I care about. Afterward, we still have to be a team. I’m not going to say anything that can linger on after we’ve made up. If you say, “I hate you,” after we make up, I can still replay the fact that you said you hate me. I never want my wife to walk away from a discussion with words that stick to her that may be a cut or below the belt.
With God, and us praying together, we’ve overcome a lot of our obstacles, and we’re in the best place we’ve ever been.
Q Parker is working on an inspirational album, that I’m looking forward to. The couple is also the Founders of Brothers United, and Sisters United, as well as Couples 412, which brings the guys and the girls together—married couples, engaged couples, and seriously dating couples.
Photo credit: Sharlinda Parker IG